About

Patricia Berendsen

I’m Patricia. I’m happy you’re here at Pleasure By Design! You’ve taken a courageous step already.  Let me tell you a bit about myself and what I love to do.

My life’s purpose is to be a healing presence in the world and to help people heal…one nervous system at a time!  In my 30 years of psychotherapy practice I’ve supported countless couples and individuals to recover from challenging life circumstances and reclaim their life. Being the best version of ourselves is our gift to the world. And being the best version of ourselves and leading a fulfilled and pleasurable life includes our sexuality.

Trauma and shame can make our lives pretty challenging.  This usually shows up in our relationships.  We may have trouble saying “yes” or saying “no”. We might have a low sexual desire, or we might have a sex drive that seems out of control. We may struggle with asking for what we want for fear of hurting the other person.  Or we might be scared that they will leave us.  Sometimes accessing and feeling any kind of pleasure seems out of reach. 

Somatic Sex Education is a wonderful and efficient way to heal from our trauma and shame!  You could think of me as your personal pleasure coach, supporting and guiding you toward healing and an even more fulfilled life.  

 

Somatic Sex Education brings focus to pleasure, wholeness, and the innate wisdom of your body. Our body holds so much knowledge and information.  But we are often living our lives at such a fast pace that we miss a lot of it.  Somatic Sex Education helps us to come home to our bodies and to make peace with our bodies no matter what trauma we have experienced.

 

A lot of us are embarrassed to get help in the sexuality arena.  We have an expectation that we should “somehow know everything”.  After all, we can “google” just about anything.  But knowledge alone doesn’t heal.  We need to anchor our knowledge somatically…meaning in our body.  Think for a moment, about your sex education.  Was it fear-based and focussed on preventing pregnancy or STI’s?    Did you learn about your sexuality from your peers ?  Or were porn or sex magazines your sex ed teachers?  Did you have parents who talked openly about sex, pleasure and your sexuality?  

 

What I have found is that we were rarely taught the skills needed to cultivate pleasure, listen to our bodies, and have healthy, empowered interactions and relationships. 

 

And for most of us, having a Sexual Healing and Wellness Coach is a step toward getting the sex education we never had!  It can be how we tap into our authentic self.

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“The practice of reclaiming power, while gently opening the body in a safe and contained setting provides clients with an opportunity to move beyond trauma into empowered pleasure. “

Expertise

Patricia’s Pleasure by Design practice encompasses the Integration of:

  • Somatic Sex Education from the Insititute for the Study of Somatic Sexology

  • Somatic Experiencing pioneered by Dr. Peter Levine

  • Neuro-Affective Touch by Dr. Aline La Pierrre

  • Touch Training Skills for Trauma by Kathy Kain M.A, SEP

  • Bodynamic  Analysis by Joel Isaacs, Ph. D. & Anne Isaacs, MA., LCSW.

  • NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM) by Dr. Larry Heller and Dr. Aline La Pierre, 

  • Somatic Resilience and Regulation after Early Trauma by Kathy Kain and Stephen Terrell Psy.D

  • Pre and Perinatal Trauma by Ray Castellino

  • Robbins-Madanes Life Coach Training by Tony Robbins, Cloé Madanes, Magali Peysha and Mark Peysha

  • Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT) with Stan Tatkin

  • Emotionally Focussed Therapy with Susan Johnson